She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
