**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
