okay pat passed out under dana's car
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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