Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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