You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
