shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he puts the penis in happiness.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize