Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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