You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There r osticjed everywhere
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
