So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the condom got lost in my hair
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
