do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize