I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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