My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize