exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
