put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
