whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
