At least make sure they are 18
Why
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
