I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
