Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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