Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I am puke
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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