well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
