I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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