Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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