My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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