Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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