i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
