help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
