Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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