Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
