You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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