It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
