Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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