So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
