I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
