I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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