Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
