You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Randomize
