I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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