i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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