well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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