I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
