I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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