I wanna bring you to show and tell
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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