He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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