His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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