what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
