I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
