belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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