Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
