Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
