Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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