the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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