very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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