"it" just moved
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
my liver is dry heaving
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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