i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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