dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I need moral support for this bender
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
whose parrot is this?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
