Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
