Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
