brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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