she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just gift wrapped bread.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
