I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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