How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
