He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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